babysophie

Ini Dia Jawabannya!

Ada masanya saya bertanya pada diri sendiri, am I capable of being a mom? Pertanyaan ini terutama muncul ketika saya kesulitan menenangkan baby Sophie, yang nangis ngamuk, mempermainkan PD saya saat nenen sambil menggenjot sepeda imajiner dan memukul-mukul udara kosong. Pengen nangis rasanya, apalagi klo Budhe mengambil Sophie dari pelukan saya dan Sophie mau tenang dengan beliau. So depriving.

Saya kerap berpikir, apa yang salah? Knapa Sophie rewel sekali? Apakah dia sakit? Apakah ASI saya kurang banyak? Apakah ada sesuatu dalam ASI saya yang tidak disukainya? Apakah posisi nenennya tidak nyaman?

***

Cluster feeding often coincides with your baby’s fussy time. Baby will nurse a few minutes, pull off, fuss/cry, nurse a few minutes, pull off, fuss/cry… on and on… for hours. This can be VERY frustrating, and mom starts wondering if baby is getting enough milk, if something she is eating is bothering baby, if EVERYTHING she is doing is bothering baby… It can really ruin your confidence, particularly if there is someone else around asking the same questions (your mother, your husband, your mother-in-law).

This behavior is NORMAL!    It has nothing to do with your breastmilk or your mothering. If baby is happy the rest of the day, and baby doesn’t seem to be in pain (as with colic) during the fussy time – just keep trying to soothe your baby and don’t beat yourself up about the cause. Let baby nurse as long and as often as he will. Recruit dad (or another helper) to bring you food/drink and fetch things (book/remote/phone/etc.) while you are nursing and holding baby.

Does this mean that baby needs more milk than I can provide?
No. Don’t give baby a bottle — supplementation will only tell your body that you need LESS milk at this time, and that will not help matters. Also, keep in mind that formula fed babies experience fussy periods in the evening, too — fussy evenings are common for all young babies, no matter how they are fed. The Academy of Breastfeeding Medicine spells this out in their supplementary feeding guidelines:
There are common clinical situations where evaluation and breastfeeding management may be necessary, but supplementation is NOT INDICATED including… The infant who is fussy at night or constantly feeding for several hours.

Why do babies fuss in the evening?
One frequently-heard explanation for baby’s fussiness in the evenings is that milk volume tends to be lower in the evening due to the natural cycling of hormones throughout the day. However, Dr. Peter Hartmann, a breastfeeding researcher, has said that in the women he has studied, milk volume is not low at this time of day. Even if milk volume is lower in the evening, fat content is typically higher in the evening (particularly if baby is allowed to control this via cue feeding), so the amount of calories that baby is getting should not be significantly different. Milk flow can be slower in the evening, which may be frustrating for some babies.

Doctors often attribute evening fussiness to baby’s immature nervous system (and the fussiness does end as baby gets older, usually by 3-4 months). However, Dr. Katherine Dettwyler (who does research on breastfeeding in traditional societies) states that babies in Mali, West Africa and other traditional societies don’t have colic or late afternoon/evening fussiness. These babies are carried all day and usually nurse several times each hour.

So perhaps none of these explanations is a complete answer to baby’s evening fussiness. For many babies, the fussy time seems to be characterized by a need to have small quantities of milk at frequent intervals, combined with lots of holding, cuddling and movement. Babies who are offered as much expressed milk or formula as they will take by bottle [note: this practice will decrease your milk supply!] often behave in exactly the same way in the evenings. Baby takes a small amount and dozes (and fusses), then a little more, and so on. Perhaps babies “remember” mom being very active during her pregnancy at these times, and want to be held, rocked, and nurtured constantly again.

Perhaps babies simply need to nurse more often at this time — rather than consume more milk.

Soothing techniques for the fussy times

  • Wear baby in a sling or baby carrier. This will free one or both hands for other tasks (fixing dinner, caring for other children) while you hold, soothe and nurse your baby.
  • Change of pace. Let dad have some “baby time” while mom takes a shower or simply gets some time to herself to relax and regroup after a long day.
  • Go outside. Relax baby (and mom too) with a walk, or just sit and enjoy the outdoors. Try this a little before baby’s regular fussy time.
  • Soothe with sound. Sing, hum, talk, murmur shhhh, listen to music, or use ‘white noise.’ Try different types of sound, different styles of music and singers with different types of voices.
  • Soothe with rhythmic motion. Walk, sway, bounce, dance, swing, or even try a car ride.
  • Soothe with touch. Hold or bathe baby, try baby massage.
  • Reduce stimulation. Dim lights, reduce noise, swaddle baby.
  • Vary nursing positions. Try side lying, lying on your back to nurse with baby tummy to tummy, etc.
  • Nurse in motion (while rocking, swaying, walking, etc.).
  • Combine rhythmic motion with soothing sounds.
  • Avoid scheduling, even more so in the fussy evening hours

***

Bersyukur saya menemukan jawabannya di sini. Tidak ada yang salah dengan ASI saya. Yang bermasalah adalah diri saya yang tidak PDan. Pikiran saya yang tidak tenang. Saya mulai mensugesti diri saya sendiri, harusnya saya bisa meng-handle Sophie ya, lah wong saya Ibunya. Kalo saya gak bisa siapa lagi yang bisa?

Tentang tipsnya, bebrapa saya sudah mencobanya. Hasilnya variatif.

  • Wear baby in a sling or baby carrier. Sudah. Ini cukup membantu lengan saya. Sophie makin ndut bo. Klo pake tangan saja pegel. So far Sophie juga lebih nyaman pake gendongan.
  • Change of pace. Ini juga lumayan berefek buat saya. Klo saya sudah lelah, saya akan minta tolong Budhe menggendong Sophie. Trus saya ngapain? On line atau tidur sebentar dong.
  • Go outside. Ini belom pernah saya coba. Lah klo malam sekarang hujan deras, bagaimana mungkin saya keluar? Seringnya saya membawa Sophie keluar kamar, mondar-mandir dari ruang depan sampai dapur.
  • Soothe with sound. Ah, ini mah saya praktekin terus. Kadang berhasil, kadang tidak berpengaruh. Saya klo menyetel WMP selalu meng-klik Now Playing – all Music, dari murotal, Beethoven for Little Ears, Sophie Ellis Bextor sampai Coldplay ada semua. Klo versi live, saya yang nyanyi maksudnya, so far yang kadang sukses membuat tenang Sophie adalah Today the Sun’s on Us-nya Sophie Ellis, Ocean Apart-nya Julie Delphy. Somehow, the most ultimate sound to soothe Sophie is Al Fathehah – ayat kursi.
  • Soothe with rhythmic motion. Ya itu tadi, mondar-mandir dari ruang depan sampai dapur. Kadang berhasil, kadang mengecewakan hasilnya.
  • Soothe with touch. Selain adegan peluk memeluk, saya suka menciumi Sophie. Dan seringnya efek ciuman itu adalah Sophie jadi ngantuk, hehehe
  • Reduce stimulation. Sophie kagetan, dan rumah kami mepet jalan. Jadi variabel yang ini tidak bisa saya kontrol. Klo lampu, saya sudah mencoba dan cukup berhasil.  
  • Vary nursing positions. Saya baru bisa neneni dengan satu gaya, dengan duduk. Jadi tidak bisa membuat perbandingan di sini.
  • Nurse in motion.  Sama sperti yang atas tadi kan?

Bismillah saja deh, saya percaya saya akan makin mampu kedepannya. Apalagi klo saya ingat senyum lebar tanpa gigi di wajah Sophie saat dia tenang. Ya, saya akan berusaha untuk sabar melewati tahap ini. Untuk Sophie.

Saya meng-copas tulisan diatas dari sini

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