Mama

Growing Older

It’s taken much too long. To get it right, could it be so wrong?

In my younger years, this sentence brought me down in so many levels.

(It’s a bit funny to remember those years, though. I never knew that I would do that much for nothing, and realized that nothing meant much later. I was a kind of super silly me.)

(I need to warn Sophie and Syafiq that they have to pass their own silly time once. They need to embrace their time when they think that they dive in a deep end, just to realize that it is only another turn to take a break a while later.)

These days, it brings the whole new perception. I analogize it to things that are not related to its original feeling – or what I thought of as it. I see it in a wider view, from a higher elevation.

*** *** ***

Let start with this thought: how could a thing be so wrong when I try to get it right?

Here is the background. It’s been a while that I am in a not-so-comfort circumstance. I’ve been spending enormous energy in coping it. No, my energy is not drained because I do whatever it takes to solve it. I am exhausted because I am just overreacted to it.

There it is.

How could a thing be so wrong?

It goes wrong when I am overreacted to it. I forget the essence of the problem and am too busy with weighing my loss. I place myself in the center, and there everything else goes wrong.

How could a thing be so wrong (even when I have been trying so hard to get it right)?

It is true that I have done a lot, from my own point of view. I do this and that to mitigate my loss. In the same time, I forget the real problem. I left it untouched. So tell it once again, have I really tried that hard to get it right? Have I?

OK, I am over say it, again. My point is, I don’t treat the problem proportionally.

Let’s back to the background. So, where do I go from here?

I know, this problem of not-so-comfort circumstance has not been solved yet. But, at least, I do understand that it is not about me. It’s time to stop playing victim. I am not suffering that much. I am not the one who needs a helping hand. And maybe, I can help the one who truly needs it.

I think I will go somewhere not-too-far with a warmer heart, then.

*** *** ***

Wait, you don’t know the sentence I used to open this post?

(Oh, it is clear that I am that old and fail to move on from my 90 to early 2000 ears. )

(Speaking of gagal move on, here I post a pic that instantly brought a huge smile on my face. Massive love!)

 

TT AD
Take That is a five-piece-band again. Yes, they are with Ant and Dec. The glorious 90s boys band era is back again at a glance.

 

It is from Vertical Horizon’s Miracle, btw.

 

 

 

Mama

Can’t Have It All

Things that happened recently with people around me reminded me of this old saying: we just can’t have it all.

There are so many things we want to have/achieve/collect/obtain/proud of. Yet our capacity is way too limited. That’s when priority speaks: what is the most important one for you?

The best idea to follow, for me, is pursuing that most important one(s) and letting go the rest.

Gods created the universe with its complexity and human with two hands for purposes. I think one of those is to teach us that we have to understand that we just can’t have it all. No matter how many things you do want, you only have two hands to hold them once. You need to let some fall around your feet. You need to let go some that too far from your reach. Sometimes you have to use your mouth to bite and your body to snuggle with some when they were out of your hands.

Life is hard, eh?

Maybe. But please remember that those hands are yours. You are in total control of which to hold and which to let go. You are not in that weak position.

PS: When I was writing this post, a music player in my head played Can’t Have It All, Win Some Lose Some, and Come Back to What You Know. Usia tak pernah dusta, memang.