Mama, Uncategorized

You’re the Truth, Not I

It’s been so long since the last time I listened to any Placebo’s song. Ten years, maybe 11 or 12, I am not sure. I just stopped and forgot them completely. Until I suddenly missed them, and it turned my emotion upside down.

**** *** ** *

There are twenty years to go, the faithful and the low. The best of starts, the broken heart, the stone. There are twenty years to go, the punch drunk, and the blow. The worst of starts, the mercy part, the phone.

**** *** ** *

I miss Placebo.

It was the first thing in my mind when I walked into my lab this morning. I bet you guess what I did next right: I played their song on my Spotify all day long and watched their videos during lunch time. Unintendedly, I put Song to Say Goodbye on, the official video. I started to cry. I couldn’t even watch it until the end. It was too heavy for me. Maybe the song, maybe the video. I don’t know. My tears just wouldn’t stop. Luckily I have the study room for my self.

It hit me so hard. All those sadness, dark thoughts, all of those wouldn’t go away. My brain refused to work properly.

**** *** ** *

I couldn’t bring my self to listen to Song to Say Goodbye. I randomly played their songs, until I stopped with Twenty Years. I listened to it on repeat. For hours.

OMG. You should watch the live version of Twenty Years, particularly one in Vieilles Charrues 2006. The best version ever.

**** *** ** *

These all bring me to the very start, 2004, when Twenty Years was released. The time when all those darkness were relevant, haha! Back then, I was looking foward for the next 20 years. I wondered where would I be in the next 20 years. I was scared that the song would be my prophecy. I was scared of what the future save for me.

Now, there are only 5 years to go. I am just fine, to sum it up. I am OK. It was so much better than what was in my darker mind back then.

There are twenty years to go, a golden age, I know. But, all will pass, will end too fast, you know

**** *** ** *

Edan, ya. Hanya Placebo yang bisa membuat saya tiba-tiba menyambangi blog saya. The one and only Placebo.

And that’s the end and that’s the start of it. That’s the whole and that’s the part of it. That’s the high and that’s the heart of it. That’s the long and that’s the short of it. That’s the best and that’s the test in it. That’s the doubt, the doubt, the trust in it. That’s the sight and that’s the sound of it. That’s the gift and that’s the trick in it

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